“Your visions will become clear only when you can look into your own heart. Who looks outside, dreams; who looks inside, awakes.”― C.G. Jung
Just as our bodies need food, water, and shelter to survive, our emotional well-being depends on equally vital needs.
We require a deep sense of safety that extends beyond physical protection - it's about having confidence that our basic needs will be consistently met, creating a foundation of stability and predictability in our lives.
We need healthy self-esteem - that internal feeling of being worthy, competent, and genuinely acceptable just as we are.
We thrive on meaningful connections, forming bonds where we feel truly seen and valued, whether in family, friendships, or our broader community.
And fundamentally, we need a sense of personal power, the freedom to be ourselves - to pursue our own goals and live according to our values, making autonomous choices about our lives.
Having those emotional needs fulfilled allows us to thrive emotionally and socially, which also positively impact our health and physical well being.
But when these emotional needs are threatened - whether it's feeling our independence is at risk, sensing disconnection from others, or struggling with self-doubt - our brain's alarm system activates as if facing a physical threat. Our instinctive brain takes charge, pushing aside logical thinking. Unfortunately, many of us have developped an oversensitive security system that treats every uncertainty as a major threat, triggering those automatic responses and behaviours we've relied on for years.
Often, these responses were the solutions we created as children - clever strategies that helped us navigate challenging situations with the limited resources we had at the time. Maybe we learned to hide our intense emotions, or perhaps we learned to show them forcefully. These strategies were remarkably intelligent for a child - they kept us safe and helped us survive. We can feel genuine gratitude for how these solutions protected us while also recognizing that, as adults, we have new capabilities and resources that weren't available to us as children. The key is gently reassuring our protective instincts that we're capable of meeting our needs in healthier ways that serve our long term interest. This involves developing emotional intelligence - learning to understand and satisfy our needs in ways that respect ourselves and others.
This emotional intelligence can be developed throughout our lives through practice and self-reflection. As you grow in this area, you'll likely notice improvements in your mental health, your relationships and work life, and your leadership abilities. With patience and practice, you'll find yourself navigating emotional challenges more effectively - managing stress better, communicating more clearly, and dealing with conflicts more constructively.
Remember, growth happens gradually. Whether it's taking a thoughtful pause before reacting, trying a new way to express your needs, or showing yourself compassion during difficult moments - every step brings you closer to a more balanced and fulfilling life. Each small improvement in how you handle your emotions is significant progress toward creating the life and relationships you desire.
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